holidays gone wild

after a certain age, the main appeal of the holidays is the amount of food one is allowed to consume free of judgment or restraint. the downside is that the menu never changes and the staples of that menu are generally pretty bland.

fortunately for me, my aunt is a chef and she hosts christmas. she makes christmas dinner exciting again, while still serving the comfort food that even the biggest food snob ultimately craves for a holiday meal. it's not really possible to explain how my aunt's dinner trumps any traditional meal, so i'll just have to illustrate my point with a small battle:

ROUND 1: hors d'oeuvres

vs.

the verdict: the picture on the left is cocktail shrimp. i love cocktail shrimp, but they don't taste like...anything. the picture on the right features mussels and tomato tapenade. unlike their crustacean counterparts, mussels have sort of a sweet and briny flavor that my aunt was really able to showcase with her marinade. they were served with the tapenade and a hard, mild cheese. the result was too sacred to put into print, but trust me...my aunt's hors d'oeuvres win this round.

ROUND 2: main course

vs.

the verdict: the photo on the left depicts a meal served on parents' day at a summer camp -- not as gross as the usual food but not gourmet by any stretch of the imagination. it features a limp salad, cubes of unseasoned potatoes, and slices of ham. the picture on the right features the same components of meat, potato and vegetable, but the similarities end there. the green beans were crisp and delicately dressed. one sensed that the duck that died for this meal was grateful to have met such a delicious demise. and my aunt's equivalent to yams was a pumpkin puree spiced to perfection, the sweetness offsetting the savoriness of the duck.

the highlight was the cheesy latke. the only way to improve upon a latke is by adding heaps of cheese while frying the pancake, resulting in the world's most perfect manifestation of the potato. i think we all know who wins this round.


ROUND 3: dessert

i don't have any pictures of the dessert, but we were lucky enough to have two choices. the first was a chocolate pie. it featured a crunchy, oreo-like crust with a chocolate mousse filling topped with whipped cream. it was sweet but not overwhelmingly so, as she was able to maintain the bitter edge that gives chocolate it's aphrodisiacal quality. the other dessert was a cranberry pie. the cranberries in the pie were whole, giving the pie an uncommonly juicy tartness.

but...my younger cousin made a pumpkin pie for thanksgiving that was out of this world. so we're calling this round a draw.

FINAL VERDICT:
my aunt's meal is the decisive victor! hooray!

seasonal depression

i love winter when it snows. everything seems good in the world when it's blanketed in white. but after the streets are plowed and the sidewalks are salted, the harsh reality sets in: winter is horrible. we're left with a grey mixture of salt, dirt and slush that slows us down as we freeze to death on our miserable, treacherous commutes. it's dark when we leave for work and it's dark when we get out. and some of us (namely me) work in a windowless office with no heat and a lighting scheme that evokes an insane asylum.

fortunately there are ways to cope. obviously drinking is a quick solution, but to compete with the harsh winter elements, drinks need to be extra indulgant.

egg nog

6 eggs
2 + ½ cups heavy whipping cream
2 cups whole milk
1 cup caster sugar
½ cup brandy
½ cup dark rum
½ teaspoon vanilla extract
½ teaspoon nutmeg, ground or grated (fresh is best)

eggs: beat 'em!
sugar, nutmeg and vanilla: beat in!
slowley add whipping cream to the beat.
add milk a little at a time and beat it!
rum and brandy really can't be beat.

serving suggestion: chill and serve cold. garnish with nutmeg. dust off your xmas vhs collection and sip eggnog whilst watching such classics as santa claus conquers the martians and the preacher's wife, starring whitney houston.

mulled wine

pour a bottle of wine into a saucepan and put on low heat. zest half an orange and crush the zest with the back of a knife to release the orangeyness. add the zest to the wine and a little of the juice for good measure. add half a cup of brandy, cinnamon sticks, cloves, sugar, cardamon pods and any other spices that strike your fancy. let it simmer until it's steamy and hot, but for the love of god, don't let it boil!

serving suggestion: strain into mugs so you don't get pieces of cardamon floating about your drink. bring out your old wolverine pelt and sprawl on it, nude, in front of the fireplace reciting keats to your lover.

if hot wine or raw eggs aren't your bag, be creative. mix peppermint schnapps and hot cocoa and top with whipped cream: it's an excellent alternative for the kids! a good irish coffee will really jump start your morning! just draw the line at tea. there is no good way to spike hot tea.