holidays gone wild

after a certain age, the main appeal of the holidays is the amount of food one is allowed to consume free of judgment or restraint. the downside is that the menu never changes and the staples of that menu are generally pretty bland.

fortunately for me, my aunt is a chef and she hosts christmas. she makes christmas dinner exciting again, while still serving the comfort food that even the biggest food snob ultimately craves for a holiday meal. it's not really possible to explain how my aunt's dinner trumps any traditional meal, so i'll just have to illustrate my point with a small battle:

ROUND 1: hors d'oeuvres

vs.

the verdict: the picture on the left is cocktail shrimp. i love cocktail shrimp, but they don't taste like...anything. the picture on the right features mussels and tomato tapenade. unlike their crustacean counterparts, mussels have sort of a sweet and briny flavor that my aunt was really able to showcase with her marinade. they were served with the tapenade and a hard, mild cheese. the result was too sacred to put into print, but trust me...my aunt's hors d'oeuvres win this round.

ROUND 2: main course

vs.

the verdict: the photo on the left depicts a meal served on parents' day at a summer camp -- not as gross as the usual food but not gourmet by any stretch of the imagination. it features a limp salad, cubes of unseasoned potatoes, and slices of ham. the picture on the right features the same components of meat, potato and vegetable, but the similarities end there. the green beans were crisp and delicately dressed. one sensed that the duck that died for this meal was grateful to have met such a delicious demise. and my aunt's equivalent to yams was a pumpkin puree spiced to perfection, the sweetness offsetting the savoriness of the duck.

the highlight was the cheesy latke. the only way to improve upon a latke is by adding heaps of cheese while frying the pancake, resulting in the world's most perfect manifestation of the potato. i think we all know who wins this round.


ROUND 3: dessert

i don't have any pictures of the dessert, but we were lucky enough to have two choices. the first was a chocolate pie. it featured a crunchy, oreo-like crust with a chocolate mousse filling topped with whipped cream. it was sweet but not overwhelmingly so, as she was able to maintain the bitter edge that gives chocolate it's aphrodisiacal quality. the other dessert was a cranberry pie. the cranberries in the pie were whole, giving the pie an uncommonly juicy tartness.

but...my younger cousin made a pumpkin pie for thanksgiving that was out of this world. so we're calling this round a draw.

FINAL VERDICT:
my aunt's meal is the decisive victor! hooray!

seasonal depression

i love winter when it snows. everything seems good in the world when it's blanketed in white. but after the streets are plowed and the sidewalks are salted, the harsh reality sets in: winter is horrible. we're left with a grey mixture of salt, dirt and slush that slows us down as we freeze to death on our miserable, treacherous commutes. it's dark when we leave for work and it's dark when we get out. and some of us (namely me) work in a windowless office with no heat and a lighting scheme that evokes an insane asylum.

fortunately there are ways to cope. obviously drinking is a quick solution, but to compete with the harsh winter elements, drinks need to be extra indulgant.

egg nog

6 eggs
2 + ½ cups heavy whipping cream
2 cups whole milk
1 cup caster sugar
½ cup brandy
½ cup dark rum
½ teaspoon vanilla extract
½ teaspoon nutmeg, ground or grated (fresh is best)

eggs: beat 'em!
sugar, nutmeg and vanilla: beat in!
slowley add whipping cream to the beat.
add milk a little at a time and beat it!
rum and brandy really can't be beat.

serving suggestion: chill and serve cold. garnish with nutmeg. dust off your xmas vhs collection and sip eggnog whilst watching such classics as santa claus conquers the martians and the preacher's wife, starring whitney houston.

mulled wine

pour a bottle of wine into a saucepan and put on low heat. zest half an orange and crush the zest with the back of a knife to release the orangeyness. add the zest to the wine and a little of the juice for good measure. add half a cup of brandy, cinnamon sticks, cloves, sugar, cardamon pods and any other spices that strike your fancy. let it simmer until it's steamy and hot, but for the love of god, don't let it boil!

serving suggestion: strain into mugs so you don't get pieces of cardamon floating about your drink. bring out your old wolverine pelt and sprawl on it, nude, in front of the fireplace reciting keats to your lover.

if hot wine or raw eggs aren't your bag, be creative. mix peppermint schnapps and hot cocoa and top with whipped cream: it's an excellent alternative for the kids! a good irish coffee will really jump start your morning! just draw the line at tea. there is no good way to spike hot tea.

thanksgiving

thanksgiving is the time of year that we take a step back from our hectic lives and reflect upon the basic things in life for which we are grateful. it's also a time to eat large quantities of food and debut holiday wardrobes. i am thankful for the following elements of food and fashion:

thrift stores/flea markets
the shoes, sweater, accessories, etc. that i'm wearing with today's little thanksgiving outfit cost what may as well be a million dollars, considering my budget. fortunately the dress that makes it all work cost me five bucks at the goodwill. if you have more time than money to invest in clothing, you can always turn to thrift stores, flea markets, e-bay, tag sales, etc.

kangaROOS

these sneakers, which debuted in the late 70s and made a recent revival, are awesome! they only come in about one style, but tons of colors (from basic black to the borderline tacky lamé look shown above). the highlight is the zipper pocket on each shoe. never go running again without your spare change or house key. and if you live on the dark side, you won't have to go without your drugs and prophylactics.

gnarly head old vine zinfandel

this wine is perfect. their website doesn't lie:

"Robust berry flavors and exotic spice notes from the small grape
clusters are balanced with French, American and Hungarian oak, which
creates heady layers of vanilla and chocolate and a lingering finish.

This luscious wine pairs well with raucous fun at barbecue or pizza
parties, a family dinner of hearty pasta or chili, and on its own to
celebrate personal triumphs."

raucous fun? personal triumphs? perfect! also, reasonably priced.

napa valley harvest honey truffle mustard

truffles and truffle oil add this indescribable savoriness to anything. they're also indescribably expensive. this mustard has the same effect, with the added bonus of a mustard-y kick. and it's about 5 bucks.

french new wave cinema

the women in these films are incredibly stylish and defiant. if you need proof of this, please buy me the coffee table book "french new wave" by jean douchet. you're welcome to come over and look through it any time!


i'm also thankful for leftovers, and am now going to show my gratitude by eating them. cheers.

winter

now that we know what to look for next spring, it's time to snap back to the present. there's a frost advisory for tonight and i am ill prepared. in the winter, warmth and survival trump all current trends, which is why it's important to have a few reliable basics that you can whip out year after year once the temperature drops. this is a lesson i'm just learning now. every year i reach for my cheap boots from the previous year, only to find that they have disintegrated in my closet. or i'll need a warm coat, only to recall that last year i was "off coats" and that my ridiculously huge sweaters from that year would be completely inappropriate this year. well that stops now. this year i will buy real boots, a real coat, real gloves, etc. here's the shortlist:

hunter rain boots. when i first started seeing everyone wear them i was outraged that people pay $115 for the plainest boots in the whole world. but they're classic. or maybe i'm just a sucker. but i'm buying them.

nordstrom cashmere fingerless gloves for $68. please don't tell me that fingerless gloves will go out of style, and definitely don't tell me that they are not nor ever have been in style. because i will not listen to you. notcot.com posted a nice array of gloves i could never afford:

i can't only wear grey this winter. that's why scarves were invented. scarves are the one element of winter gear that i'm never in short supply of. This year, though, i went crazy buying summer scarves (which probably are just a passing trend) and somehow lost a lot of my winter scarves. this means i have to go out and buy a pashmina in every color.

i did find a really awesome summer scarf at a thrift store and would like to find something equally unique for winter, but that's a story for another day.

as far as coats go, i actually planned ahead. i have 3 very basic winter coats that should last. that doesn't mean i can't have another. it's by peligrosa for $240. apparently it's made of organic wool and has coconut husk buttons. you can buy it on environmental fashion sites, which i usually avoid for fear of alpaca adorned ponchos made from hydroponic hemp. but this coat successfully evades hippy cliches and meets my approval. look!

i'm starting to go broke just thinking about all of this so i'll leave it at that.

best of s2009rtw

spring 2009's fashion weeks were held in an economic climate where even the richest among us are scaling back. for the less rich among us however, fashion week has never been -- and never will be -- a shopping guide. it's pure fantasy, which is a joy in and of itself. so if you're part of the growing ranks for whom the runway and the closet will never coincide, don't fear. fashion week can still have a purpose for you. that being said, following the shows can be a little overwhelming and tiresome if you don't actually get to buy anything. so to simplify things for you, i've compiled a handy guide of fashion week spring 2009 highlights.

best runway show: sonia rykiel. nothing topped this show.

best designer i've never heard of: ann demeulemeester. maybe she should consider changing her name if she wants it to become household.

line i would purchase all of, had i any money: burberry prorsum. considering how much i love fashion, i'm not really very adventurous. burberry's line featured very wearable pieces that no one can mess up. i'll leave the avant guarde to someone else.


scariest: comme des garcons.the entire collection was black. every model's face was covered. it was spooooky!!!


best little black dress: viktor and rolf. everything in this collection that was remotely wearable also happened to be a little black dress. but they nailed it.


most suitable for spring: luella. kind of hurts my eyes.


most ethereal: erin featherston. to the point of nausea. i usually really like erin featherston, but this is a little much. it's like the entire collection was swallowed by clouds and fairies.


least wearable: gareth pugh. as always, nothing in the entire collection is commercially viable. one day i will understand how people make any money designing clothes for no one. until that day, i'm just going to roll with it.




all that being said, most of the real highlights came from off the runway. the best reference for looks from the street is http://www.style.com/fashionshows/sartorialist/.

the end

paris fashion week spring 2009

paris fashion week is in full swing and the line between art and fashion remains blurred. in paris, the term "ready-to-wear" takes on a whole new meaning, as in "i'm ready to wear this outfit to my cult meeting/s-and-m party/outer space/the future!"



comme des garçons. whether you're going for chimney chic or bondage beautiful, this line has it all!


hussein chalayan. it's important to have protective eye wear when engaging in interplanetary travel.


viktor and rolf. i don't know what to think. she looks like a futuristic robo-turkey. i will be wearing this outfit to thanksgiving dinner.

instead of a live runway show, viktor and rolf made a video using one model (shalom harlow) and a virtual runway. at the end of the video, all the shaloms stand on the runway clapping until they dissolve into pixels. are live runway shows going the way of the 8 track?


here are some highlights from the real world:


viktor and rolf's collection isn't all insanity and turkeys.


ann demeulemeester.




sonia rykiel's show was amazing. the models had dance parties, the audience interacted and there were birthday surprises. the line is very feminine and french and her attention to detail is impeccable as always. when i get rich i'm buying the entire line.

trends

the fashion world constantly recycles old trends and turns them into new ones by fusing them with other old trends. Learn to combine old styles to reinvent your old, tired wardrobe without having to set foot in a store! this week's new style is called Disco-Hobo.

everyone loves disco and everyone loves hobos, so why not reap the stylistic benefits from both worlds! now you may be thinking, "gee, i thought that they already merged the two and created ravers!" yes, it's true that ravers have merged disco and hobo -- they frequent abandoned warehouses, do copious amounts of drugs, love glitter, and have pants that could serve as a tent for an entire hobo family! but there are many distinct differences that really set disco-hobos apart from ravers. take this simple quiz and test your disco-hobo vs. raver savvy!
choose a) for disco-hobo, b) for raver or c)for both disco-hobo and raver.

1. shiny track suit
   
2. shiny track suit with plaid polyester knee and elbow patches
   
3. huge, unnecessarily brightly colored shoes
   
4. backpack full or ecstasy
   
5. knapsack full of cocaine
   
6. lamé fingerless gloves
   
7. sweatbands
   
8. sequined cabby caps
   
9. polyester onesies
   
10. all white three piece suits from the actual 70's patched together with gold lamé
    
11. platform shoes fashioned from tin cans and recycled tires
    
12. whistles
    

answer key:

1. b
   
2. a
   
3. c - keep in mind that hobos are basically clowns without jobs, hence the big shoes.
   
4. b
   
5. a
   
6. a
   
7. c
   
8. a
   
9. a
   
10. a
    
11. a
    
12. b

if you got 7 or more correct, you're ready for the disco-hobo movement! get used to saying "i was wearing disco-hobo clothes waaay before everyone else. disco-hobos these days are such poseurs!"

this man is sort of a disco-hobo:


note how this disco-hobo looks like he's covered in soot from riding the rails but really that soot is bright green glitter!


you can't really tell that she's a disco-hobo unless you know, like i do, that the outfit is made of tin cans!

this is only the tip of the iceberg. take the disco-hobo look and make it your own!

pancake houses

looks just like an ihop, except the roof is green -- the color of money. welcome to the westport pancake house, ihop of CT's elite! westport, ct is so rich that they would never stoop so low as to have an actual ihop within its perimeters, hence the westport pancake house, or "whop" as the locals call it. everything about it is exactly the same as a regular ihop. flags from around the globe hang from the eaves, there are carafes of coffee at every table, and breakfast is served all day. except at whop you can find women with diamonds bigger than any home fry, old ladies draped in fur, and young j. crew models carousing over bacon and eggs. it's pretty great.
i've never gotten anything at ihop besides smiley faced pancakes so i'm not sure how the two compare, but i'm a huge fan of the food at whop. i get the stuffed crepes with homefries every time. they have a wide variety of fruity crepes, but their crepes stuffed with egg and cheese are the shit. the home fries have actual flavor before even adding tabasco and the coffee is bottomless. so if for some horrible reason you find yourself in fairfield county at breakfast time, and for some crazy reason you want to have breakfast without cocktails, come to the westport pancake house and restaurant!

poletna and wine

i was equal parts lazy and hungry tonight, so i made polenta. cook the polenta (corn meal) in a sauce pan according to box instructions. in a separate pan saute garlic and onions. add diced mushrooms (wild if possible), chopped red bell pepper, and whatever else sounds good/is going bad in your fridge. shred a ton of parmesan cheese right into the polenta, add salt, lots of pepper and thyme (dried is fine). add the vegs, stir and garnish. eat.
for wine we had almira Los Dos grenache/syrah with the polenta. it's french but grenache typically goes well with spanish food. drink.

tandoor kitchen

this is tandoor kitchen. this is obviously the best place for indian food in new haven. menu and quality are fairly similar between most indian restaurants, so you have to pick the one in an aluminum diner car